The Girlfriend Chronicles - Part Deux

After the success of the first "Girlfriend Chronicles," I figured I'd share some more excerpts with you guys of some chat conversations between my girlfriend and I.*

It's okay to be jealous.

However, after reading these I probably should have put a PG-13 or R rating on this because she kind of has a potty mouth. MOM YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LOOK AWAY RIGHT NOW!

*no feelings were harmed during the creation of this post because I essentially have none - like a Vulcan but with smaller ears yet with eerily similar super-strength












So, to all you single ladies out there, remember:

Sure, you may die alone. But it could be worse.

You could be MY girlfriend.

One legged baby races and a pretty odd conversation to begin with

In my first entry of "The Girlfriend Chronicles" series, I posted a few of my IM conversations with my girlfriend which only made her question why, exactly, she's with me at all.

But then I make my pecs dance while simultaneously juggling and singing the Alphabet Song and all her doubts magically disappear.

Today, though, I'm going to recreate a scene that happened during our trip to Target.

Living the dream, people. Living the dream.

To make this flow better, I crafted the conversation like an IM chat. It's prettier that way, trust me on this.

On the way into the parking lot, we noticed that the mall was advertising this:


..and then it started...


*I make a circle motion with my right hand while left hand runs straight past the hand just rotating in circles, obviously taking over the lead


*sigh

The prospect of entering my child into a one-legged baby race along diaper-saddled elderly people makes me want to reverse my vasectomy if nothing else but for the blog material and quite possibly the best home movie EVER.

I wonder how many other men have made that very same decision.

Probably just me.

The Girlfriend Chronicles

Just thought I'd share some excerpts with you guys of some chat conversations between my girlfriend and I.*

It's okay to be jealous.

However, after reading these I probably should have put a PG-13 or R rating on this because she kind of has a potty mouth. MOM YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LOOK AWAY RIGHT NOW!

*no feelings were harmed during the creation of this post because I essentially have none - like a Vulcan but with smaller ears yet with eerily similar super-strength














So, to all you single ladies out there, remember:

Sure, you may die alone. But it could be worse.

You could be MY girlfriend.