The Girlfriend Chronicles - I love you as much as a Korean import

After the success of my previous "Girlfriend Chronicles," posts, I figured I'd share some more excerpts with you guys of some chat conversations between my girlfriend and I.

It's okay to be jealous.

And you should probably send Kerri a sympathy card or something after reading these.

She puts up with a LOT.

Enjoy!

*****************

Seriously.

I can only afford to love you to Korea.

I think that's in a Van Halen song.

So, to all you single ladies out there, remember:

Sure, you may die alone. But it could be worse.

You could be MY girlfriend.

The Girlfriend Chronicles and the happy colon therapy session

My girlfriend, Kerri, sent me this email out of the blue for a Groupon she received:

Ummm....

My reply:

Seriously.

I don't remember ever looking that giddy about something.

My appointment is next Wednesday.

The Girlfriend Chronicles goes Cinco de WTF-O

After the success of my previous "Girlfriend Chronicles," posts, I figured I'd share some more excerpts with you guys of some chat conversations between my girlfriend and I.

It's okay to be jealous.

And you should probably send Kerri a sympathy card or something after reading these.

She puts up with a LOT.

Enjoy!

*****************

..and then on Facebook everyone corrected me because it's called a 'tilde' not a 'tilda' and guess who has two thumbs and really doesn't give a shit?

Then..

For some reason Kerri plays all these games on Facebook (or, as she says, her "son plays them" (rolls eyes)) and then all these game achievements get posted on her page so it's not uncommon to see shit like this:

Reach for the stars, baby.

Reach for the stars.

So, to all you single ladies out there, remember:

Sure, you may die alone. But it could be worse.

You could be MY girlfriend.

I'm so romantic it makes me want to plagiarize shit

Today is October 17th which represents the 2-year anniversary of when my girlfriend, Kerri, and I met on Match.com which is a story in itself and involves Susan Boyle.

True story.

Regardless, to show how much Kerri means to me I sometimes go crazy romantic and post shit on her Facebook page.

Like this.

Happy dating anniversary, honey.

Love,

Steve Perry

The Girlfriend Chronicles - Take 4

After the success of my previous "Girlfriend Chronicles," posts, I figured I'd share some more excerpts with you guys of some chat conversations between my girlfriend and I.

It's okay to be jealous.

And you should probably send Kerri a sympathy card or something after reading these.

She puts up with a LOT.

Enjoy!

*****************











...and then Kerri turned 40!!

Gah.





To preface this last one, be advised that Kerri has a 3-year old daughter nicknamed "Ash" but not because she's on fire. We put that out before it got to that point.

PHEW.


Truer words? Never spoken.

So, to all you single ladies out there, remember:

Sure, you may die alone. But it could be worse.

You could be MY girlfriend.

The Girlfriend Chronicles - take 3

After the success of the first "Girlfriend Chronicles," and then the second one, I figured I'd share some more excerpts with you guys of some chat conversations between my girlfriend and I.

It's okay to be jealous.

This, though, is kind of special because Kerri will be celebrating her 40th birthday on Friday, which means I am now on the prowl for something younger.

Just kidding, babe.*

*not kidding **

** Honey if you're still reading this I am TOTALLY kidding

Enjoy!

*****************
In this first one, I had sent out an invite on Facebook to the party I was throwing for her but since she was now going to be elderly I wanted to make it something special and thus called it her '40th Birthday EXTRAVAGANZA.'

The problem is that I had no ideas on how to make it an extravaganza other than to get everyone completely shitfaced.












Ah. Sometimes she gives as she gets.

*wink

So, to all you single ladies out there, remember:

Sure, you may die alone. But it could be worse.

You could be MY girlfriend.

The Girlfriend Chronicles - Part Deux

After the success of the first "Girlfriend Chronicles," I figured I'd share some more excerpts with you guys of some chat conversations between my girlfriend and I.*

It's okay to be jealous.

However, after reading these I probably should have put a PG-13 or R rating on this because she kind of has a potty mouth. MOM YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LOOK AWAY RIGHT NOW!

*no feelings were harmed during the creation of this post because I essentially have none - like a Vulcan but with smaller ears yet with eerily similar super-strength












So, to all you single ladies out there, remember:

Sure, you may die alone. But it could be worse.

You could be MY girlfriend.

The Girlfriend Chronicles

Just thought I'd share some excerpts with you guys of some chat conversations between my girlfriend and I.*

It's okay to be jealous.

However, after reading these I probably should have put a PG-13 or R rating on this because she kind of has a potty mouth. MOM YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LOOK AWAY RIGHT NOW!

*no feelings were harmed during the creation of this post because I essentially have none - like a Vulcan but with smaller ears yet with eerily similar super-strength














So, to all you single ladies out there, remember:

Sure, you may die alone. But it could be worse.

You could be MY girlfriend.