There are some changes afoot at Mental Poo.
No, I'm not becoming a woman.
Yes, it's because I haven't figured out bra clasps yet.
But I digress...
I'm finding that my mind is draining quicker than Ron Jeremy's penis.
As such, I'm going to be peppering my everyday posts with one or more of the following:
2) Guest writers
3) Jack sh*t
You'll see today, that there is a new poll up on my left sidebar.
...I'm asking for your help to see what can be improved here.
Now, I realize it is like asking kids with helmets to drive the short bus...
...but it's worth a shot.
I'll post the results next week...
...then promptly ignore them.
On another note:
I've been yet again bestowed two new awards, each devoid of any cash prize:
The first one comes from Hope:
She writes that my blog is "irreverent, hilarious and totally random."
I don't know what the first word means, and I think it has something to do with me being a sick priest (i.e., "ill reverand").
Also, thank you for the "hilarious" and "random" notes...
...which, unfortunately, also describes my sexual techniques.
BLOG UPDATE, MARCH 26:
So, it turns out that Jeannette sent me the same "You make my day" award back in February.
You people have to tell me this stuff.
If you DID tell me, then you people need to start buying me Ginkgo Biloba...you know, that memory sh*t...
...because I certainly can't remember everything.
Honestly, if my thighs weren't so sensitive, I'd forget to keep shaving my balls.
I got another one from Malicious Intent, as well:
Trust me, this is a COVETED award that isn't passed out willy-nilly.
(extra points here for me working in the term, "willy")
Someday, I will decide to find out what "coveted" means...
...but I know it has something to do with adultery, per the Ten Commandments.
I wonder if it's actually an irreverent coveted thing...
...THAT would be spooky.
Thanks for the awards, everyone!
Now...go check out these two folks who were kind enough to accept my bribe...
...give me an award unsolicited!!
Then...go check out my pole.
By the way, if you're interested in becoming a "Guest Writer" here send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to:
69 Shocker Drive
Bangcow, New Hampshire
That's my mom's address.
If you're interested in popping on here, let me know.
It has to be funny.
I don't do serious.
You stupid, stupid douche.
What were you thinking?