My Poll Now Has More Girth!! | Mental Poo

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

My Poll Now Has More Girth!!

There are some changes afoot at Mental Poo.

No, I'm not becoming a woman.

Yes, it's because I haven't figured out bra clasps yet.

But I digress...


I'm finding that my mind is draining quicker than Ron Jeremy's penis.

As such, I'm going to be peppering my everyday posts with one or more of the following:

1) Polls
2) Guest writers
3) Jack sh*t

You'll see today, that there is a new poll up on my left sidebar.

Yes, readers...

...I'm asking for your help to see what can be improved here.

Now, I realize it is like asking kids with helmets to drive the short bus...

...but it's worth a shot.

Enjoy it.

I'll post the results next week...

...then promptly ignore them.

On another note:

I've been yet again bestowed two new awards, each devoid of any cash prize:

The first one comes from Hope:

She writes that my blog is "irreverent, hilarious and totally random."

I don't know what the first word means, and I think it has something to do with me being a sick priest (i.e., "ill reverand").

Also, thank you for the "hilarious" and "random" notes...

...which, unfortunately, also describes my sexual techniques.


So, it turns out that Jeannette sent me the same "You make my day" award back in February.

You people have to tell me this stuff.

If you DID tell me, then you people need to start buying me Ginkgo know, that memory sh*t...

...because I certainly can't remember everything.

Honestly, if my thighs weren't so sensitive, I'd forget to keep shaving my balls.

I got another one from Malicious Intent, as well:

Trust me, this is a COVETED award that isn't passed out willy-nilly.

(extra points here for me working in the term, "willy")

Someday, I will decide to find out what "coveted" means...

...but I know it has something to do with adultery, per the Ten Commandments.

I wonder if it's actually an irreverent coveted thing...

...THAT would be spooky.

Thanks for the awards, everyone!

Now...go check out these two folks who were kind enough to accept my bribe...


...give me an award unsolicited!!

Then...go check out my pole.


Moog out.

By the way, if you're interested in becoming a "Guest Writer" here send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to:

Mental Poo
c/o Moooooog35
69 Shocker Drive
Bangcow, New Hampshire


That's my mom's address.

If you're interested in popping on here, let me know.

It has to be funny.

I don't do serious.

You stupid, stupid douche.

What were you thinking?


Anonymous said...

I'll be here to participate in the polls whenever you hold them, as I did just now. My choice was, obviously: keep posts as they are :-)

I don't have a cash prize for you but if I were to hold a contest on anti-Christian/monotheistic humour, you'd win first prize.

"And the gold for anti-monotheistic satire/burlesque, in prose form, goes to - Rod/midget man of steel/moog."

Keep well. May the gods bless your family too.

The Absent Minded Housewife said...

I just discovered your brand of poo...and you're talking improvement? You're perfect, perfect!

You seem to get plenty of fiber in your diet.

Malach the Merciless said...


Going Like Sixty said...

Life is good. Except when you're dead.

To fulfill prophecy, I may have to Mess with Texas.

Not to mention the fact that my wife had a colonoscopy a day earlier than scheduled!

Anonymous said...

You do need to quit chokin the chicken as often as you do... can't be healthy.

I'd want to guest write, but my as just isn't as friggin hilarious as yours.

Mike said...

If I do a guest post do I have to do it like you, or can I be a bit more.... coherent?

Rahul said...

Your mom got lucky living on 69 Shocker Drive. They don't just hand out that address

Moooooog35 said...

If you're interested in doing a guest blog here on Mental Poo, email me at the "Dear Moog" address on my sidebar.

I only ask the following:

1) It's funny
2) You're not funnier than me.
3) See #1.

Once we square all that sh*t away, we're good.

The Ponderer said...

Gimme a guest writing spot!

To see my ability to write funny, check out

and look at the "okay..." post.

I think you'll thoroughly enjoy it, even though you have kids.

billymac said...

don't change a thing... well maybe some more pics of hot naked psychopathic celebs like britney and paris so we can point and laugh...

Rhea said...

You're a sick, twisted, creepy sort of way.

I just found your blog through Mimzie's. Your comments there are brilliantly funny (and scary!).

Malicious Intent said...

Accepting my award means you acknowledge me as your Goddess and worship me accordingly. You are on my bitch list now. Bend over.


Your Welcome.

Jeannette E. Spaghetti said...

Um, dude... I gave you the "you make my day award" back on FEBRUARY 12th...

Malicious Intent said...

Jeannette, he obviously needs a visit from Miss Manners and her baseball bat. How dare he keep you waiting so long! The Goddess has spoken, he must pay!

Love the green hair, I want blue.

Moooooog35 said...

Jeanette: WHAT?!?!?

Did you tell me this?! Or did you telepathically mention it to me?!

Was I on drugs? Were we at a key party?

Were we on drugs at a key party?

Am I as good as I think I am?

How did this happen?

I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you.

Let me know when the next key party is.

Jeannette E. Spaghetti said...

@malicious intent
Thanks for the wig comment! I have a white one, too, but the green one is my favorite!!

Thanks for the apology. I thought that maybe I somehow managed to offend you when I wrote the post and that's why you were ignoring me.

prin said...

I'm not volunteering to write for you because a) I'm here for the free laughs, and 2) I'm not funny and iii) I'm a girl, so I don't poo.

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