Bitter Baking Blackmail | Mental Poo

Monday, February 13, 2012

Bitter Baking Blackmail

This product made by The Bitter Baking Company was brought to my attention the other day:


*GASP*

What's the big deal, you may be asking yourself?

How about THESE APPLES:


That's right. That's MY TERM as clearly stated up on Urban Dictionary.

As such, I had no choice but to threaten them in a non-threatening manner:


A few minutes later a quite lovely person at The Bitter Baking Company sent me this reply:


That's right. I just blackmailed my way into a pack of cookies.

*jazz hands*

Of course if they're going to make millions using my non-Trademarked term I figured I'd be greedy and maybe, you know, press a little harder.

That's what she said.

That makes no sense.

Regardless:


So now I just sit and wait for my mail-order cookies to arrive.

In the meantime, go show Erin some love and order some cookies because any company with the tag line of "we make scrumptious cookies topped with sarcastic designs" deserves some lovin.

But not from me. I'm just into blackmailing for bakery goods.

*****************
UPDATE!!

Erin was kind enough to give YOU, my readers, a discount of 50% off orders equal or above $18.00 through 2/29/12!!

To take advantage of this offer, go to The Bitter Baking Company and order some stuff.

Then type "blackmail" in the Discount Code box and - voila! - cheap, sarcastic cookies!!

You're welcome.

24 comments:

Trucking Tumbleweed said...

It's possible that you may be a genius. Or psychotic. It could go either way.

Sarah Smith-Frigerio said...

I love companies with snark! So glad you were able to blackmail for baked goods.

SarcasmInAction said...

woo hoo to the free cookies!
Also? I'm now in love with Bitter Baking Co.
I'm ordering. Because Erin is friggin fantastic.

IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY said...

awesome....

tweeted this!!!!

Knight said...

I'm so excited about this company. I wish I had the addresses of my friends. I also wish I liked cookies. Thanks Rodney!

Eva Gallant said...

That is absolutely brilliant!!!!!! Plus you get them to give up their cookies! I am in awe.

When Pigs Fly said...

I'm a huge fan of Erin's cookies. I'm glad your blackmailing attempts did not go south. I may need to think of how to do this for free cake.

Knight said...

Those Holemate Cookies just became my Valentine's gift to my, well, holemate. I hope appreciates it as much as I do.

handflapper said...

You are quite the gentleman blackmailer. I think you let them off too easily. Holemates? That kind of genius merits a dozen packs of cookies, at least.

Stacyonthecouch said...

You're my hero

Maxie said...

i just spoke with the girl who has 50% ownership of the term "holemate" and she is not pleased about her lack of cookies.

meleah rebeccah said...

Nice way to score free cookies! And now I will be adding the term holemate to my daily vocabulary.

Karl said...

A so the guy who invented the word holemate is named Rod?

Simone Says... said...

diabolical!

NellieVaughn said...

This was so funny. I want a holemate! What the hell, why haven't I heard of this before. Also, feel free to share the cookies with me.

MSgt B said...

When I grow up, I wanna be like you.

John said...

Funny - all of my blackmail letters end up with grumpy visits from FBI agents.

Did you know that FBI didn't stand for Female Body Inspector?

Mike said...

I once blackmailed Febreeze for a free can. It worked.

Stupid companies.

MommaKiss said...

You are a motherfucking genius.
{please send cookies}
{now}

Brutalism said...

Oh my God. I love Erin. Although, would love her more if instead of "silly man" she had referred to you as "Mr. Funnypants". Whatever. Free cookies!

Moooooog35 said...

Seriously, everyone. I highly suggest going and buying at least a couple of cookies from Erin just because she is an AMAZING sport to play along and - well - the cookies are wicked effing good.

If you need suggestions on what to write on the cookies, shoot me an email. I got tons of stuff in my head I need to get rid of.

SurferWife said...

I'm on this shit. Did you say they're on Twitter? I misded that part, and I'll be damned if I have to read this post twice.

RicoSwaff said...

Today I was talking to this fat dude who is a little slow and he told me he was a whore-on. I asked, "you mean a moron?" He said, "no, I'm a whore on the prowl. Do you think I'm a moron?"

Kind of awkward.

Jo-Anne's Rambling said...

I have come over from Jewels blog why because she made me telling me if I didn't come and have a look see she would hit me on the head with old hard cookies and then make me eat said cookie, yes she can be a bit of a bully at times but hey we love her don't we.........you better say you do as she will get all bitchy on you if you don't........lol

I think your blog is funny and cool and I am not saying that because I am being threaten but because it is what I think I will be back.............

Related Posts with Thumbnails