More evidence that my kids are fucking awesome

Came home one day to find my son writing lyrics to a song.

Me: "Whatcha writing?"

Son: "I'm making a song up for your book."

Me: "What? Really?"

Son: "Yeah. I'm using that Blink-182 song."

My daughter then sat down with them, and they hashed it out the rest of the way. An hour later, this emerged:



My kids?

Pretty goddamn awesome.

If you haven't picked up your copy, you can get one here GLOBALLY now on Amazon affiliates all over the world.

Then I'll have more money and can send them to music school where they can make even better songs using their own music so I don't have to violate Copyright laws.

Oooooh...I can almost smell it! What?

It's here.

Well, kind of.

My new book, "Perhaps I've Said Too Much" is set to be released NEXT TUESDAY, November 19th, 2013!

In anticipation of it's general release, I am doing something I've NEVER done before.

*does naked robot dance*

It's not that. I do that a lot, actually.

NO! What I'm doing is actually offering both versions of the book - Paperback and Kindle - in a PRE-SALE OFFER!

If you're still on the fence about getting it, I can tell you that it would make a great and unexpected Christmas gift and/or doorstop.

Also, Here's the back cover so you can see what some of my early editorial reviewers are saying:

BAM.

Here's what YOU get for ordering the book in advance of it's release date:


Pre-order the beautiful, full-color paperback for $15.99, and get FREE SHIPPING on a SIGNED copy of the book AND an autographed 5x7 lithograph of the alternate cover! (US only - outside the US subject to add'l shipping)

Pre-order the full-color Amazon Kindle version for $4.99 and we will email you a SIGNED graphic of the alternate cover the day the book releases, along with a link to your Kindle download.

BAM.

To place your pre-order for "Perhaps I've Said Too Much," just go here.

Thanks, everyone!! Spread the word!

The Summer Blogging Break

Well folks, it's just about time for my summer blogging break.

I'm doing this for a number of reasons:

1) I'm writing a sequel to my first book, "Things Go Wrong for Me," and it's pretty much taking up most of my time.

2) I'm lazy so #1 is taking longer than expected

3) I'm too lazy to come up with a valid #3 (please refer to #2)

I may be back before the end of the summer to help promote awareness for the second book - currently titled, "Perhaps I've Said Too Much - A Perpetual Liar's Survival Guide" - and to keep shit fresh.

Not literally. You can't keep shit fresh. I've tried.

*throws out Tupperware*

To keep you entertained, at least, I'm including a picture of myself shirtless holding the MEDAL I WON from the "Next Generation Indie Book Awards" this year:

FYI - this is how I've been going to work, shopping, having sex, etc., etc., EVERY DAY SINCE IT CAME IN THE MAIL.

It's so pretty.

In the meantime while I'm on hiatus, feel free to go ahead and prep for "Perhaps" by getting "Things" here:

Paperback: http://bit.ly/12o6h8N

Kindle (just $3.99): http://bit.ly/ZpoiVk

Thanks to everyone for your support as I walk down this road yet again in pursuit of fame, fortune and a date with Scarlett Johansson.

See you soon, everyone!!

Moog out.

This is way better than a Leg Lamp.

I called my publisher the other day to ask him a question, and he answered the phone like this:

"So, you like the email?"

Um.

Sure?

Me: "Uh..hi? What? What email?"

Tim: "Go check your email."

So of course I ran to check my email because I assumed Kate Upton was asking him how to get in touch with me.

Man, if I had a nickel.

But, no. Instead, what greeted me was THIS:

OMGOMGOMGOMG.

HOLY CRAP POOP!

And then I apparently fainted and was out cold for days because I woke up in the middle of my living room with my dog looking at me hungrily and I had a full beard.

So, yeah. I was a finalist in the "Humor/Comedy" category for the Next Generation Indie Book Awards but I think I'm more excited about winning a medal for it which I will wear all the time just like this:

I'm considering going to the ceremony so they can actually PUT THE MEDAL AROUND MY NECK because this is probably as close as I'll ever get to knighthood or doing something remotely athletic.

Awesome.

*********************

If you haven't read my book yet, or would like to order 3,000 more copies of a Next Generation Indie Book Awards Finalist, you can get it in FULL COLOR paperback and Kindle versions here:

Things Go Wrong for Me - Amazon.com

15 Steps on How to Write a Book - Illustrate

So you want to write a book?

Yeah. Join the club. The very BIG club.

Well, I wrote a book, "Things Go Wrong for Me," which has actually had some decent success for a first go at it - so I thought I'd give you - my readers - some insight into what it takes to write that damn thing.

But, of course, I did it with stick-figure drawings because that's how I roll, yo.

Enjoy, and Godspeed.

So there you go.

**********************

As a reminder, the book can be purchased at ANY of these sites:

Amazon

Amazon Kindle

Barnes and Noble

RCG Publishing, Inc.

So, thank you.

And, following my rule #15, you can be assured that Book 2 is currently in the works.

As is Book 3.

See what you've started?!

Product Placement is a key strategy of mine

In an effort to deluge the Internet with content about my book, "Things Go Wrong for Me," I've taken to some marketing techniques that, well, shouldn't surprise any of you.

I give you, "pictures I made because I had nothing better to do."

The Inauguration


I KNEW IT.

The State of the Union



Meanwhile, at the Vatican



The "Best Picture" Oscar nods


I'd like to thank the Academy...

**********************

As a reminder, the book can be purchased at ANY of these sites:

Amazon

Amazon Kindle

Barnes and Noble

RCG Publishing, Inc.

So, thank you.

Book 2 is currently in the works.

As is Book 3.

See what you've started?!

This is where I say 'Thank You.'

Today, on a very special episode of "Mental Poo":

Thank you.

Seriously. If you're reading this, thank you.

My book, "Things Go Wrong for Me" had a bit of a rocky start, but in recent weeks the following has happened:

- 10,135 people downloaded the Kindle version of the book during 5 days of free promotion

Yes. Over TEN THOUSAND PEOPLE downloaded it.

Would have been nice if they downloaded it when they had to PAY for it, but whatever.

- "Things Go Wrong for Me" has spent time on the following Amazon "Best Seller" lists (Top 100)

- Memoirs
- Humor
- Humor -> Love, Sex & Marriage

I know, right? WTF is 'marriage' doing in there with 'love' and 'sex?' Odd.

- I had a formal Press Release go out to over 2,500 media outlets and journalists

Cross your fingers that you'll see me on Letterman or at the Playboy Mansion (preferably, BOTH)

So thanks to ALL of you who've helped spread the word, and bought the book, and added your review on Amazon.

(If you HAVE read the book but HAVEN'T put up a review, PLEASE do so - thank you!!)

As a reminder, the book can be purchased at ANY of these sites:

Amazon

Amazon Kindle

Barnes and Noble

RCG Publishing, Inc.

So, yes. Thank you.

Book 2 is currently in the works.

As is Book 3.

See what you've started?!

Thank you!! And my first book GIVEAWAY!

Well, my first-ever book, "Things Go Wrong for Me" was released on December 14th.

So far it has just under 30 reviews, all 5-star with the exception of 2 4-star reviews!!!

Holy. Crap.

Also? I should probably send those 2 people a fruit basket as an apology.

If you need another excuse to buy it, here are some quotes from some quite recognizable people from my back cover:

Cool.

So now you're quickly running out of excuses to NOT get this book because I'm also about to give you the links to get it:

Barnes and Noble
Amazon
Kindle

FYI: Amazon has been running out of stock on the paper versions, but Barnes & Noble seems to be fine.

That said - we are ALSO currently holding our FIRST-EVER book giveaway!!

I have 5 - just 5 - paper copies available that we're making available via a contest on Goodreads.

So, just in case you already have the Kindle version and want to throw your hat in the ring for a hard copy of the book (HA! I said 'hard')..

YOU CAN ENTER THE GIVEAWAY HERE.

Good luck!

And thank you to EVERYONE who has supported the book in all formats and for the glowing reviews!!

Yes, Virginia, I DO have a book. "Things Go Wrong for Me" IS NOW ON SALE!!

And just like that,

I'M A PUBLISHED AUTHOR.

File this under 'OMG OMG OMG OMG'

My first-ever book, "Things Go Wrong for Me" is now available!!!

HOLY. CRAPBALLS.

The book is available in paper and e-book formats at Amazon.com and Amazon Kindle, Barnes and Noble and RCGPublishing.com.

To order YOUR copy from Amazon.com, just click this great big button:

If you'd like a SIGNED copy of the book, you can do so at RCGPublishing.com or by clicking here.

I have SO many people to thank - including YOU, my faithful readers - that I don't even know where to begin so I will leave my thanks to the 'dedication' section of my book.

That said, here are a couple of reviews that I've ALREADY received and that you'll find on the book itself!

You might recognize some of the names:

"Rodney Lacroix has created a wonderfully hilarious book, and also has a very fun name to say out loud."
Jenny Lawson
Author of NYT Bestseller, Let's Pretend This Never Happened

"A hysterical book written by a man with no filter, a vasectomy and a name like 'Rod?' I'm all over it."
Jenny McCarthy
NYT Bestselling Author, TV personality, Cougar Raper

Um, yeah.

That's THE Jenny McCarthy and THE Bloggess.

Again, I say "HOLY SHITBALLS."

I also got great reviews from comedienne/actress Suzy Soro and Bo Sellers, Boston radio personality, Kevin Barbare, actor David Beach and another super famous blogger Margaret Andrews of "Nanny Goats in Panties" fame.

I hope you enjoy the book as much as they did.

"Things Go Wrong for Me" is available at:

Amazon: http://bit.ly/12o6h8N

Amazon (Kindle Version): http://bit.ly/ZpoiVk

Barnes and Noble: http://bit.ly/UIgJBw

RCG Publishing: http://www.rcgpublishing.com

Going to RCG Publishing will give you links to all the books PLUS the option to get an AUTOGRAPHED copy!!

BONUS: The Kindle version of the book will be available at a reduced price of $2.99 for the first week!!

Thanks, guys. I couldn't have gotten this far without you.

***************************
HELP WANTED!

I'm looking for anyone who wants to help me get the word out about the book prior to the release, during and after with Blog posts (interviews, reviews, etc.), Tweets and Facebook status updates.

If you're interested, please email me at midgetmanofsteel@yahoo.com and we can work out the details.

Thank you!!