Bitter Baking Company - A Little Bitch in Every Batch

Your choices of cookies from MY VERY OWN LINE of treats over at The Bitter Baking Company just got WAY more betterer.

As opposed to my grammar. Obviously.

For those of you who don't remember the story, check out the post that started it all...along with Erin's follow up that, well, cemented the deal.

Amazing.

When you go there, you'll see a "Mental Poo" category which the lovely Erin (I'm guessing here, I have no idea what she looks like) put together to showcase all of the CUSTOM COOKIES she can make for you with slogans written by yours truly.


Well, according to Erin my cookies have been FLYING off the shelves at a rate of nearly one cookie every once in a while, so in light of such amazing success we've decided to EXPAND the line to include "Divorce" cookies as well as throw in some new cookies in the "Romance" category.

DIVORCE COOKIES

Know someone going through a divorce or bitter breakup? How about pamper them with some heartfelt cookies like these?









ROMANCE COOKIES

In the mood to spread a little romance via tasty treat? Of course you are. Send that special someone one of these timeless classics:








They just tug at the heartstrings, don't they?

I can fully attest that the cookies are all hand-made by Erin and wicked good and totally worth it because (a) you'll make someone laugh and (b) Erin and I get money.

I see this as a win-win.

Enjoy your cookies and thanks for the order!!

*******************
UPDATE:

By sheer coincidence, The Indy Girls actually wrote a Spotlight Post on The Bitter Baking Company and GUESS WHO IS MENTIONED IN IT.

*wink

Go read it. It's actually pretty cool. Then buy cookies. Don't forget to do THAT.

My Line of Bitter Baking Company Cookies - Now with even MORE tasteless humor

Your choices of cookies from MY VERY OWN LINE of treats over at The Bitter Baking Company just got WAY more betterer.

As opposed to my grammar. Obviously.

For those of you who don't remember the story, check out the post that started it all...along with Erin's follow up that, well, cemented the deal.

Amazing.

When you go there, you'll see a "Mental Poo" category which the lovely Erin (I'm guessing here, I have no idea what she looks like) put together to showcase all of the CUSTOM COOKIES she can make for you with slogans written by yours truly.


Well, according to Erin my cookies have been FLYING off the shelves at a rate of nearly one cookie every once in a while, so in light of such amazing success we've decided to EXPAND the line to include "Divorce" cookies as well as throw in some new cookies in the "Romance" category.

DIVORCE COOKIES

Know someone going through a divorce or bitter breakup? How about pamper them with some heartfelt cookies like these?









ROMANCE COOKIES

In the mood to spread a little romance via tasty treat? Of course you are. Send that special someone one of these timeless classics:








They just tug at the heartstrings, don't they?

I can fully attest that the cookies are all hand-made by Erin and wicked good and totally worth it because (a) you'll make someone laugh and (b) Erin and I get money.

I see this as a win-win.

Enjoy your cookies and thanks for the order!!

*******************
UPDATE:

By sheer coincidence, The Indy Girls actually wrote a Spotlight Post today on The Bitter Baking Company and GUESS WHO IS MENTIONED IN IT.

*wink

Go read it. It's actually pretty cool. Then buy cookies. Don't forget to do THAT.

It's almost my birthday. BUY MY DAMN COOKIES.

In lieu of a weekly wrapup, and since it's almost my birthday (wink), I've decided to just go pimp out my new page of cookies over at The Bitter Baking Company.

For those of you who don't remember the story, check out the post that started it all...along with Erin's follow up that, well, cemented the deal.

Amazing.

When you go there, you'll see a "Mental Poo" category which the lovely Erin (I'm guessing here, I have no idea what she looks like) put together to showcase all of the CUSTOM COOKIES she can make for you with slogans written by yours truly.


You can choose from Mother's Day cookies like this:



Or Birthday cookies like this:


Or even relationship cookies, like this:



Awesome, right?

I can fully attest that the cookies are all hand-made by Erin and wicked good and totally worth it because (a) you'll make someone laugh and (b) Erin and I get money.

I see this as a win-win.

Enjoy your cookies and thanks for the order!!

Wrapping up the Week - July 15, 2012

Just in case you missed another fun-filled week on Mental Poo...
My Posts from this Week:

If you build this, they'll get wet. And I'll get $5.

Enjoy.

My girlfriend forbid me to Tweet or use Facebook during our getaway so I just memorized them all and wrote this.

I WIN.


************************

Moments in MENTAL POO History:


************************

A year ago this week on 'Mental Poo':


Shit my kids say.

I drew a cartoon!!

************************

Two Years Ago this week on Mental Poo':


I discover the secret of shampoo that makes YOU SMARTER.

I don't think I used enough.

In New Hampshire, we have what you call 'slim pickins' regarding the dating scene.

Case in point.

************************

Three Years Ago this week on 'Mental Poo


I was on vacation so I brought a bunch of 'vacation' reposts.

This one is, by far, my favorite.

*********************
Four Years Ago this week on Mental Poo


I welcomed my new baby to the world. 700 pounds of her.

She completes me.

My ex-wife used to love to so shit like this to me. Yes, it's mainly torture.

*********************

Self pimping for the week:

Don't forget that yours truly NOW HAS HIS VERY OWN LINE OF COOKIES over at The Bitter Baking Company!!

Head over to Erin's site and grab yourself some deliciously vicious cookies today!

Thanks!!

************************
There you go, folks.

Some new shit, some old shit.

That should keep you busy.

See you on Monday.

Moog out.

***********************

Come on. You know you want a cookie.

In celebration of my first-ever 'Caption the Cookie' contest, and in lieu of a weekly wrapup, I've decided to just go pimp out my new page of cookies over at The Bitter Baking Company.

In case you were wondering, the winning cookie caption was this:


Click on the cookie, and you can buy it and many others with great taste and tasteless humor over at The Bitter Baking Company.

For those of you who don't remember the story, check out the post that started it all...along with Erin's follow up that, well, cemented the deal.

Amazing.

When you go there, you'll see a "Mental Poo" category which the lovely Erin (I'm guessing here, I have no idea what she looks like) put together to showcase all of the CUSTOM COOKIES she can make for you with slogans written by yours truly.


You can choose from Mother's Day cookies like this:



Or Birthday cookies like this:


Or even relationship cookies, like this:



Awesome, right?

I can fully attest that the cookies are all hand-made by Erin and wicked good and totally worth it because (a) you'll make someone laugh and (b) Erin and I get money.

I see this as a win-win.

Enjoy your cookies and thanks for the order!!

Fame. Free Cookies. WE HAVE A WINNER.

Well, folks, we have a winner in my contest sponsored by the amazing (yet somehow slightly bitchy/sarcastic/mean to me) Erin over at The Bitter Baking Company that we ran last week.



If you don't remember how The Bitter Baking Company and I got started, you can find the first time I accosted her here... and her reply here...naked pictures of Scarlett Johansson here...and then I got my own line of cookies here. No shit.

So we asked YOU, my readers to simply caption this cookie:



..and you guys really responded with some fantastic entries. So much so that we couldn't decide and put the top 3 captions (decided by Erin and yours truly) to a vote on my Facebook page.

The winning caption - after much deliberation - is from "Jennifer" (one of the first comments on the post) with:

"I was going to say 'I'm sorry' but it was totally your fault."

Brilliant.

So Erin then took the caption and put her own design on it.

THIS is what Jennifer's winning cookie will look like:


Nice. Like I haven't heard THAT before.

*rolls eyes*

So now all I need is a picture of Jennifer and we can Photoshop it into this:


Awesome.

Congratulations to Jennifer and for all those who participated!!

If you'd like to purchase Jennifer's winning cookie, you can go here.

If you didn't participate, I highly suggest reading the comments in the post. I also suggest heading over to The Bitter Baking Company website and ordering yourself some homemade hilarious cookies - especially from my line of cookies because mine are more awesomer.

Especially now that I have Jennifer's cookie added to the mix up there.

And no, I'm not apologizing. It's your fault, anyway.

Moog out.

Caption this Cookie. Win some cookies. Become IMMORTAL.

This is your 15 minutes of fame, people. Time to grab that golden ring.

Or, in this case, yummy cookie.

The lovely (no idea) and talented (meh) cookie goddess (true) over at The Bitter Baking Company and I have come up with..

..wait for it..

A CONTEST AND GIVEAWAY.

If you don't remember how The Bitter Baking Company and I got started, you can find the first time I accosted her here... and her reply here...naked pictures of Scarlett Johansson here...and then I got my own line of cookies here. No shit.

So while I'm on vacation this week, we're having a contest.

THE CONTEST

See this cookie?



CAPTION IT.

That's it. If you check out The Bitter Baking Company's site, and my page in particular, you'll see the type of stuff we're looking for.

Like this:



THE RULES

Meh. Nothing really. Just THINK FUNNY.

You can enter as many times as you'd like.

Just keep entering captions in the comment section below. Birthday cookie...anniversary cookie...vasectomy cookies...Christmas...sympathy... whatever. YOUR CHOICE.

Also..if you enter a caption, make sure I can get back to you. If you don't want to put your name in the comments, email it to me at midgetmanofsteel@yahoo.com.

WHAT THE WINNER GETS

Next week Erin and I will vote on the best caption and announce a winner.

The winner gets their cookie immortalized on The Bitter Baking Company's website and you...?

You get 6 custom cookies of your choice delivered to wherever or whoever you want.

Sound good? Yeah, I think so, too.


Have at it, you sick bastards. THINK FUNNY.

Good luck. We're all pulling for you.

But don't worry, we'll wash our hands before we make the cookies.

See you on the flip side.

Buy these - for the first man who ever spanked you

With only ONE WEEK LEFT to Father's Day, I'd like to simply bring attention to the fact that the lovely and talented Erin over at The Bitter Baking Company has put out.

Her line of Father's Day cookies.

See how important proper punctuation is there, people? You thought for a second that Erin gave up her flower instead of a tasty cookie product.

The more you know.

Regardless, you can also find MY VERY OWN LINE of Father's Day Cookies that are both delicious AND vicious.

Like these little ditties:


or this one:



Awesome, right?

Also, Erin has her very own Father's Day cookies which are, in my honest opinion, also very awesome. There are also cookies for almost every other occasion you can think of.

Head over to Bitter Baking Company and order yours today!

I can fully attest that the cookies are all hand-made by Erin and wicked good and totally worth it because (a) you'll make someone laugh and (b) Erin and I get money.

I see this as a win-win.

Enjoy your cookies and thanks for the order!!

Wrapping Up the Week - June 3, 2012

Before I start today I should let you know that with Father's Dayhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif rapidly approaching, you should check out The Bitter Baking Company's "Father's Day" cookie line which features some sayings from YOURS TRULY.

Order them. Your father will thank you.

If he doesn't, he probably isn't your real dad anyway.

ONWARD!

****************


Just in case you missed another fun-filled week on Mental Poo...
My Posts from this Week:

My HR Profile at work is probably just as diverse as my work email profile pics.

KOC University. 'nuff said.

************************

Moments in MENTAL POO History:


************************

A year ago this week on 'Mental Poo':


How I got a software developer to commit hari-kari.

It's a life skill, yo.

I bought a house. Then had to buy homeowner's insurance using flirtation and sexual harassment techniques honed over time.

************************

Two Years Ago this week on Mental Poo':


I took my son to a bull riding show and all we got was this..um..anatomically correct stuffed animal WTF.

I get a Craigslist offer I can't refuse. I think.

I make a 'Ghost Hunters' parody video using stuffed animals and offend all of the cast members in the process.

************************

Three Years Ago this week on 'Mental Poo


The Shit I Learn - marriage edition.

Oh, hindsight. Silly, silly hindsight.

Mr. Squishy and the Tauntress. This one is pretty self-explanatory I think.

*********************
Four Years Ago this week on Mental Poo


..and this is why you don't show your small children "Indiana Jones" before taking them to the Holocaust Memorial.

*********************

Once again I'm over at SurferWife's blog captioning her "Fashion Disasters" segment.

There's a lot of funny captions there. I highly recommend it.

************************
There you go, folks.

Some new shit, some old shit.

That should keep you busy.

See you on Monday.

Moog out.

***********************

Because every dad wants a cookie for Father's Day that mentions spanking

In lieu of a Weekly Wrap-Up this week, I'd like to simply bring attention to the fact that the lovely and talented Erin over at The Bitter Baking Company has put out.

Her line of Father's Day cookies.

See how important proper punctuation is there, people? You thought for a second that Erin gave up her flower instead of a tasty cookie product.

The more you know.

Regardless, you can also find MY VERY OWN LINE of Father's Day Cookies that are both delicious AND vicious.

Like these little ditties:


or this one:



Awesome, right?

Also, Erin has her very own Father's Day cookies which are, in my honest opinion, also very awesome. There are also cookies for almost every other occasion you can think of.

Head over to Bitter Baking Company and order yours today!

I can fully attest that the cookies are all hand-made by Erin and wicked good and totally worth it because (a) you'll make someone laugh and (b) Erin and I get money.

I see this as a win-win.

Enjoy your cookies and thanks for the order!!